I'm feeling wave after wave of confusion lately. I seriously don't know what I want. Women. Complicated creatures I'll have to admit. Maybe it's the lessons I've learned, the broken dreams that make me so indecisive. I don't feel super depressed or anything just feel this pain in my head that won't go away. Thinking planning deciding studying. One thing for sure I really hate myself now. Frustrated every time I look at the damn mirror. But it keeps me going too, I feel the motivation to stop being a fatass again. Wonder if this motivation is short lived or for real.
My disgusting disgusting dinner + lunch. I really don't dig food like this I don't even know what I'm eating except for the beans in the middle but ya my mum says it's good so fine. If ask me eat like this everyday, well it might be torture but what to do when I don't want to be fat and sad anymore.
I now know how bad it feels like to have someone disappointed in me. That feeling is very burdening, a stone of guilt placed in my heart, making me feel bad for even living. How could I have let someone down like that. I can't do much about it anyways. Actually I can. Well I'm just thinking how. How do I find the perfect solution without hurting anyone. Ouw my head hurts again. Sleepless nights are in store for me. Tomorrow Sejarah 3 and I'm here thinking irrelevant bullshit. I really don't know how I will pass k bye.
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