Midtermssss

Midterms in one week time. I'm not planning to go school for the next few days so I can focus at home. *HAHA actually is just excuse to stay at home* You know, ever since after PMR ended, I can't bring myself to take school exams seriously dy. It's like meh school exams are nothing compared to big exams like SPM. I get that sick feeling whenever I look at books or try to pay attention in class. 

Look at my first results for this year -_- First time in my life I fail!! My parents were not happy at all. So they're kinda blackmailing me for this midterm exam. If I get lousy results like this again, I'll be sent to tuition. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 

我反抗!!

I really have to study la haiz. Why am I still blogging? Cuz there are some guests at home now. Can't concentrate when there's so much noise going on. LOL ME AND MY EXCUSES. But actually la, I still think my results were ok wor. Why so serious? BM, Physics, Sejarah PASS LEH!! SHOCKING YOU KNOW?! NO FAIL IS MIRACLE D!! Ya my goals set until very low la. It can't go on like this. Alot people complaining they can't get any motivation la, very stress la can't study la, zzzz LAZY THEN SAY LAH!! At least I admit. I am slack and indolent. I'd much rather go out cycling then study. 

Oh ya talking about cycling I got something to announce.

我脚车被没收!!!了 /(ㄒoㄒ)/~~

(My bike get rampas!!) 

Is too cruel!! 

Okay la I shud get back to study. 

DON'T REMIND ME

I will not cry! I must resist!! Oh why the hell even bother when I'm too weak to control my already falling tears? You know what? Screw this. My birthday was the worst day of my life. And you had to remind me about that cursed day today when I was so close to forgetting it. 

Did you know how bad that day was? No best friend no good friend no one to celebrate it with me. My bestfriend is non existent, my good friends don't give a flying damn about it *except for hui sin, thank you so much* . I never felt more lonely in my life ever. My birthday was basically spent cycling all day until it bloody rained. Then the heavens decided to give me a glorious birthday present.

Looks insignificant alright. Doesn't hurt at all alright. But it was pain like hell when four different people stepped on it later that day. And at night. Alone in room. No one talking to me on facebook except for people who are complaining to me about their lives. LIKE GUYS I'M PRETTY TIRED RIGHT NOW JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. At 9pm. I beh tahan dy. Cried until 1am. I never felt more sad in my life. *Well actually I have but that was kinda long ago* Really got that strong pain in my heart. How come I so weak willed de haiz. I just felt like nothing man. My friends don't care. People I care about don't do the same. Not like I was hoping for it anyways....Those unrealistic expectations on sweet 16s? SHIT 16 GOT LAH! 

Well I guess mum heard my crying and came in checking on me. She gave me a good long lecture and I really learned from it. 朋友，是没有真心的。生日，不是一切。做人不可以假开心。要真心去看待生活中的好事。就算有99样不好的，只注意在那一样好的，珍惜它，然后就打从内心灿烂地笑出来。I so agree with it. And I really changed. I stopped being whiny about everything in life. I was happy. But you had to bring this day up again today.

WHY U DO DIS?!

C-c-c-c-cooooooooooombo!!

Wow. I just lost what was so important to me in just one day. Today, I lost my bestfriend and my water bottle. ONE DAY ONLY LEH! 24 hours also haven't pass yet lost so many stuff dy? Is it too much? YES IT'S TOO MUCH. April, Y U SO BAD TO ME?! I thought you were my lucky month. Screw you, screw me,screw everyone and screw 2013 in general. I'm crying so hard now even that vein beside my eye is swollen out. Wth? I didn't know that was possible O.o Well they say all your life you'll only have one or two true friends, I guess I have none, too bad. Worse part is? Tomorrow got Pn Lau class. Omggg. I don't have the strength to face her -_- School very xien eh, need fake happy pretend laugh everything. I feel like I  faker nowadays. Being in the science lab is the only place I show my true emotion. I don't know why but it's nice to be emo there since everyone is sleeping and no one takes notice. 

Today, I wrote my problems down on a piece of paper, one full page of it and shredded the paper with my scissors. I took the shreds and threw them in a bin, would have been better if I had a lighter. I felt somehow happier and free after doing that. After school, I cycled until dinnertime. After dinner, I watched a movie. LOL relax right? And right now, I'm blogging here to release abit. Anyhow I still have to face reality in school tomorrow. It's not end of world right? 

Dumb Retards Asking More Attention

Honestly ladies, is there really need for so much drama? Stop being so sensitive. Abit abit then want cold war and become enemies already. Very tiring you know? I sit hear listen to all your problems, giving my crappy advice and all, xien liao lar. Not to say that I don't care, but I feel quite funny loh u guys. Sikit sikit pun nak buat mcm bukit.

Despite of how I always try to stay away from drama, I got involved into one recently. Oh the irony  -=- Let me ask you, how does it feel like to not be able to trust your best friend? It sucks so bad. I want to trust mine but really her attitude completely exterminates the possibility of that happening. I just trusted her recently with a secret of mine and almost immediately she does something that makes me regret trusting her. She broke another person's trust on the same day and we reprimanded her after school.

You can imagine my frustration when she repudiated the iniquity of her behavior. She even turned the blame around and pointed it towards me! She said, I know you guys don't trust me, you all don't think of me as friend,  why are you guys so mad at this, blablablablabla and conclusion is:

SHE DOESN'T THINK THAT SHE IS AT FAULT FOR SPILLING PEOPLE'S SECRETS. SHE BLAMES US FOR EVERYTHING. WTH IS THIS LOGIC I CAN'T EVEN

I am mindblown. Completely flabbergasted. She deserves a medal for turning all logic into total disorder. Okay nevermind, I wasn't exactly mad at her since I've expected her to act like that. The next day she went for YE trip so I didn't see her in school. I thought that everything was okay already since we've reprimanded her and did the best we could. I thought to just move on and never trust her again. We'd just have a normal friendship. But nooooo. After that day passed and Thursday came, I saw her angry tweeting. I might as well printscreen it here.

Well never mind I tried embedding the tweets here but failed. Her tweets radiated with her anger towards me, claiming that I don't trust her. Well you don't say?! Obviously I don't trust her. How she expect us to trust her? And she also tweeted that I like to throw her aside, think of her as shit, annoying etc etc. Erm... I don't know how to respond to that. Really I don't know how. After all I've done for her, this is what she thinks of me. Okay fine by me. I messaged her asking why was she so angry for when it was us who should be angry at her. She saw it but never replied. She even tweeted that she rather argue on real life then on this "so called social network shit stuff" as she puts it. Ermm!!! Helooo. She was the one who started angry tweeting first -=- I didn't want to argue with her, I just wanted to confront her.

I guess she's just too childish and stubborn to accept the facts. What to do with a person like this? Honestly I don't wish for our friendship to end since me and her most ngam key de. But if she wants to leave what can I do? I'll just have to let it be and see what time can do.