July 2013

It's been a month since I've updated. July was the fastest month really it felt like 3 seconds and it's gone. Not to mention it was the fasting month too XD Bazaar!!!!!!!!! It's not even Thursday yet but I'm starting to miss the bazaar already. July was exam month, I don't think anything really happened since we were studying. Oh yea the only highlight was I passed addmaths!!! For the first time in my life!! It's a splendid cause for celebration but obviously my parents don't know it yet. Keeping it low :P 

Talking about my feelings this month, I don't think I felt any sadness. My mood is very much better compared to the last four months. My my those times were really hell for me @@ I have, however distanced myself from some friends at school this month. It's not that we fought or anything, there's just this nagging feeling that I annoy them with my existence. You never know, that's why it's better to stay away for awhile and look at them more clearly. It's clear that I have been feeling lethargic this whole month. Nothing sad or emotional, just pure lack of energy. 

I don't have much to remember. Of course the unhappiness is still there, but it's getting covered up by reality gradually. Talking about friends, I missed having deep conversations with my close friends. Did those moments ever existed? I can't remember. I need to talk. Everything bottled up, it makes me want to scream at times. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being depressed, just feeling a tiny bit of frustration. I thank the heavens for my brothers that can understand my feelings. But there's still something lacking there. I need a sister.  Or a friend that actually understands. It's not just talking about the problems. I want somebody who shares the same views on life as I do, someone who agrees whole heartedly and yet is not afraid of stating the contrary. I mean, the short way to put it is, I need to find a kindred spirit. Hope fate will bring me to her/him.