Be honest about me to me, not to other people = =

Yesterday night. Two of my friends told me about this guy, who insulted me. When I heard the word insult all that was going in my head was 'oh did I annoy him or something'. Turns out he called my short and fat. LOL wth? I was relieved that he didn't call me annoying. Short and  fat. I get that alot man. It's just a fact of my life that I cannot escape. It's me. I accept that 

I'm not exactly insulted by that 'insult' but what bothered me was he said it behind my back. Why you do this man? Everybody says it in my face. Why can't you? Why you no 光明正大? To think la, that I actually thought of him as a friend. Thought that he was a 'nice' guy. While I'm thinking all these he's thinking of me as ' short and fat'. That's kinda shallow. I wonder how he insulted me in his class anyways XD Wonder how many ppl heard and agreed. 

This is the thing la. When I thought that I am friends with some person, they turn around and insult me. How to find true friend liddat. Scary la this world @@ That's why. Distance. Need to have this mindset that everyone does not want to be my friend. Then I'll know what to do. Don't be too friendly, don't wave. Let them start the conversation. Be cold. That's what's gonna happen when school starts. 

I was sleepless for the first time in months yesterday night. Many thoughts running in my head like who can I trust. Who actually wants to be friends with me. Who is real who is fake. Is very hard to differentiate ya know especially when people are so good at hiding their hate. What am I doing with my life. Wait la wait. One day I lose weight le then happy days are coming XD