Wallow

What am I doing with my life. 

Everything is coming back. My mind isn't cooperating. I'm wallowing in self pity. 

I'm so frustrated right now.No motivation to study. Playing games but I'm still a noob. Drawing houses that look like crap. Talking to people that don't even want to be friends with me. *ok keep distance*

Flashback to the past few months *except July la*  I was completely dependant on bullet for my valentine and cycling to keep my mind off things. And then LoL came and it helped alot. I was constantly talking in school to steer clear from solitude but I don't know how, Zarif could tell that I wasn't happy. He got a sharp eye that fella. It was torture. I could never sleep at night. Night time always the worse part man. I could feel myself going insane. Always sneaking out to watch tv. To get my mind focused on something else. 

During July it all died down. I kinda forgot about it. But now, my bike has been taken from me. Permanently. How did it happen? I borrowed a friend my bike and gave him the key asking him to lock when he's done because I had to go out that time. That scumbag forgot to lock. See what happen now. Gone dy. I can't rely on just BFMV and LoL to clear my mind. I need to cycle. I feel my insanity coming back.

Writing everything out here is therapeutic  to me. It's as good as talking to a psychiatrist. I feel a sense of comfort writing down my feels. Idk what people think of me probably just another emo girl writing down her emo feelings for attention. You know what? You're probably right. I don't know why I'm writing all these down. Am I asking for attention? Like is there even anyone who reads this ? One glance at it and it's like oh god emo posts everywhere I'm outta here. Am I even thinking logically? No I don't think all this is for attention gua. This blog is really my bin for trashy feelings. My personal doctor. Yah I think that's it.