Shizz

Skipped campfire night to see brother's competition. Skipped Sports Day to celebrate Father's Day. Honestly nowadays I feel that spending time with family is more worth that spending time in school activities. I feel very detached from school. I just don't like it at all now. I don't think I can repeat this enough, 2013 has been a shit year and being 16 isn't that sweet at all.

Anyways at least I accomplished alot of stuff this week. I don't know la. I'm just not happy at all inside. I don't want to man the hell up anymore. I don't want to cry either. I just wanna screw it up and throw everything away. I don't feel like trying anymore, you know. You are now reading a post of someone who has given up. I am forlorn. I don't know la.

Don't call me unappreciative on life. I appreciate my life alot. I appreciate the people in my life. I just can't bring myself to be happy. What's the right word for it? Empty. Yeah I feel dam empty. Not because I'm heartbroken or whatever, it's just I lost my real smile quite a while ago, I don't know how it happened. I'm aimless. My life is quite a joke. 

One factor is I really can't trust anyone anymore. They assure you of things that ain't true. So what if she says  we're cool? She actually still hates you and wished you'd fall. So what if he says he's glad to have met you? He actually can't wait to have you out of his life. So what if they say you are awesome and funny? They actually think you're damn lame and talk behind you all the time. I'm not sure man. All these possibilities. Everything is fake now. I used to trust so easily. I thought that people meant what they said. Right now whatever people say to assure me, it all sounds like this:

bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit

I don't want to listen to any of you. It's fretful. You never know what is on their mind. Maybe that's the beauty of this world we live in. I wanna scream FUCK YOU ALL and run into the woods. Make friends with bears maybe. At least the most they can do is eat me. It doesn't hurt as much as being backstabbed right? 

I mean, I still look normal. I laugh alot, talk alot. I'm even capable of giving people advice to live and be really happy when I can't even do that myself. Wow what a hypocrite. Well it isn't my fault they come asking me for advice. Maybe I should tell them to screw all that crap in life. Life is a goddamned pain in the ass. Just give up. I hate life. No that's not true. I can't even bring up the energy to hate life. Everything is just meh to me. 

How ironic is it? Everything you say is the opposite to everything you mean.

Don't listen to that shit!! D: I did the exact same thing and see what happened? I was too naive. Too young. Too dumb. To realizeeeeee. LOL

Let's throwback into the bullshit you said :

You're my girl, remember that.

Bullshit. I was never yours. She was yours.

I love you

As a friend!!

I really do like you

pretending to*

Time flies when future cpl talking 

future strangers*

I will never want to see you hurt

Oh you do. You want to see that so badly

I will never make you cry

5 gallons of tears and still counting. It's all for you man

No matter what happens, I will be there for you

I need you now, where the fuck are you?

No you're not annoying, in fact I'm really glad to have someone like you to talk to

Liar weyh damn liar. Your friend told me the truth dy k.

I'm a good guy

BULLSHIT!!!

Wait why is my post steering to this direction? Why am I back to talking about him? I initially came here to say this: My brother was a finalist in Pokemon TCG Championships National!! Woohoo!! He's eligible to enter the World Championships!! That means we might be going to Vancouver baby!! 

Honestly I'm quite surprised because it was my brother's first time joining this kind of competition. I'm proud of him really. But that happiness lasted for a few minutes only. You can't call me selfish for that right? I don't feel like being happy at all. 

Fuck everything.